Beginning Again

That's right. I'm quitting smoking again. I can't even count how many times I've tried quitting. I lost count a long time ago. I'm trying something different this time. If I tell as many people as possible, maybe I'll feel more accountable for my actions and be able to knock this horrible habit for good.

I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is Stacy, I'm 30 years old and live in the K.C. area. I've been in this area my whole life. I work with my father who is a financial advisor. My mother is a Mary Kay director. They are the best parents a person could ever ask for. I have one brother who is currently serving our country. He has a wife and two small children in San Antonio. They are the light of my life. I have no children yet so I like to claim them as much as I can :)

I started smoking when I was in high school. At first it was because I thought it was cool. My first cigarette ever was when I was about 8. I was staying over at a friend's house and we took a couple of her mother's cigarettes and went outside and "smoked" them. Of course, I wasn't actually smoking because I didn't even know how to at that age. I didn't pick up another cigarette until I was much older. The ripe old age of 15 to be more specific. I had a couple of friends that thought smoking was cool just like I did. So we'd smoke whenever we hung out together. It was pretty harmless at first. Little did I know that I was creating a pattern that I would truly regret ever starting.

I started smoking regularly by age 16. Granted, I would only have 2 or 3 a day but I was smoking every day. I don't think I was truly addicted at this point, however. I got caught a couple of times by my parents. On one occasion, they took my car from me for 3 weeks. They said it takes 3 weeks to make and to break a habit so that's how long I'd be grounded for. I stopped smoking during that time but as soon as I had my car back I went right back to smoking. I continued to hide it from my parents though. I was more careful this time because those few weeks without my car was torture. I was a senior in high school after all. I had places to go and people to see!

So, off to college I went the summer of '98. I was addicted to cigarettes by this time, unfortunately. I think I tried to quit a couple times when I was there but I always failed and continued smoking throughout my college career. The serious quitting attempts started after college. I don't remember all of them because, like I said earlier, there are too many to count. I've always been able to go about 1 month without smoking at all and 3 months allowing a couple of slip-ups when I'd go out drinking with friends. I realize now that the second I have a slip up I need to start the count over because that's what has led to the failed attempts up until this point.

So there's my smoking "career" in a nutshell. I feel like a hypocrite because I'm healthy in all other aspects of my life. I exercise regularly, eat lots of fruits and veggies, avoid fast food and I practice yoga so I'm spiritually healthy too. Smoking is the one vice I can't seem to get control over. So, I decided I'd start blogging about it. I intend to write about my struggles, my successes and anything else I feel necessary on here to help me overcome this nasty addiction. I haven't done this before so we'll see how it works for me but I'm hoping it makes a big difference and I'm able to keep on track this time. Wish me luck!!!